Is your perfectionism a shield or a prison?

Chantelle Dantu
Jul 14
2 min read

Perfectionism often masquerades as excellence.

It sounds like commitment.

It looks like attention to detail.

It feels like control.

But underneath? It’s not about standards. It’s about safety.

Perfectionism: Protection in Disguise

When you rework a presentation for the fifteenth time... When you hesitate to delegate because “no one will do it right”... When you delay sharing your voice until it’s polished beyond critique...

You’re not striving for excellence. You’re shielding yourself from the possibility of being judged, rejected, or seen as not enough.

And while this might feel like strength, it often becomes a prison, one that keeps your work hidden, your creativity restrained, and your nervous system in constant overdrive.

Where It Really Begins

Perfectionism rarely starts in adulthood. It’s shaped early, quietly and deeply, by the messages we received about mistakes, worth, and being enough.

Maybe mistakes weren’t safe in your childhood. Maybe love was conditional on performance. Maybe being flawless became your way of being seen, valued, or left alone.

Perfectionism, in this light, is not a flaw. It’s a brilliant survival strategy, created by a younger version of you who just wanted to feel secure.

And that’s where the healing begins: With compassion. Not correction.

The Practice of Conscious Incompleteness

To move beyond perfectionism, try practicing conscious incompleteness: The intentional release of something before it feels perfect, not from laziness, but from wisdom.

Because perfect is often the enemy of done. And more than that, it’s the enemy of growth.

Ask yourself:

What’s the real cost of chasing that final 20%?
How much more could you create, share, or learn if you let go sooner?
What becomes possible when you’re willing to be seen before you feel finished?

This shift doesn’t mean lowering your standards. It means trusting that you are already enough... and that your worth doesn’t hinge on flawlessness.